11 weeks out from the mental aspect

Happy Friday everyone! I hope everyone had an epic week. I posted yesterday about physique progress and the physical part of where I am at right now in my contest prep. Today I wanted to focus on what else is going on, including the mental and emotional parts.

It comes as no surprise that a lot of people struggle with some kind of method of covering up their anxieties or other emotional discomfort in some way. Food is a really common way to do this. Food takes our mind off a lot of things that we might not feel like dealing with in the moment. I know I was guilty of this. However, not being able to turn to food has forced me to deal with some things that I had been masking.

I am really fortunate that I have met a few really cool people in the last few months that share my passion for fitness and this lifestyle. For the first time in my life I feel like I have some positive people in my life and I actually feel worthy of good things. I have felt so good and happy, which has caused me to take a look and finally do something about a situation that was bringing me down and putting me into a continuous cycle of being in a funk. Sometimes we have these comfortable behaviors that we know aren’t good for our emotional and mental health, but we get stuck in them because they may remind us of what we were used to in the past. Unfortunately, though we know we deserve so much more than what we put up with, it can still be really hard to let go and move on from them.

So I’m going to cut to the chase now and get right to it. There was a guy that I met last year that I fell really hard and fast for because for the first time in my life I thought I found someone who had everything that I wanted. We had similar interests and got along really well and made each other laugh. I found out shortly after that we just weren’t on the same page and I could have stopped there and walked away, but I wasn’t confident enough to do it at that time. I was scared that I might not find someone I liked again. It felt like the small amount of time we spent together made it worth all the pain and suffering that I would go through after reality set back in. I valued him as a friend, but I wasn’t and still am not even sure that he even viewed me the same way. Anyways, to make a long story short, I decided to take a huge step for me and finally walk away from that situation. It might not seem like much to most people, but it was very freeing for me to make a decision purely putting myself first and doing what was best for me in the long run. I feel that it was blocking a lot of good things from coming my way in life, and I feel like I can finally breathe. Sure, I am going to miss this person a lot, but nothing is worth feeling like you don’t deserve what you want or that you just aren’t good enough as you are.

Rant over. If you read that, thanks. I hope everyone has an awesome weekend and does things that make them happy. 🙂 Life is meant to be enjoyed!

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