I want to take some time and talk about something that I found myself really struggling with the past 2 weeks of prep. This is something that I haven’t had a problem with in a long time and I am still pretty baffled about what brought it on, and that problem is binging. It started as a cheat meal, then turned into a reefed, then turned into an all out binge. This happened several times.
I’m sure it is completely normal to feel hungry and depleted during contest prep, but this was something different. I feel so many different emotions about it- a lot of guilt, shame, and negative feelings that I never want to feel. It’s hard for me to even talk about it because I am a perfectionist and like to believe that I have more control than I do in every situation.
I kept trying to undo the damage I had done by trying to do crazy amounts of cardio and lifts, but this did not work. I felt completely fatigued, like a hamster on a wheel. I knew this wasn’t going to work, so I did some research.
I came across a nice reminder. That reminder was that I should avoid having that restricted mentality. I have a goal and it is an aggressive one. HOWEVER, I can eat whatever I want, if I wanted. If I do that, I won’t be stepping on stage in April if I decided to keep going down that road.
So, the key is to not think that you can’t have something. You CAN, have it. You can also make a choice NOT to have it, because it isn’t conducive to your success and your goals and because it just most likely isn’t good for your body. This is so simple, but it was just what I needed to get myself back on track and serious. Remembering you have a choice is simple, but so helpful. You can make a choice that will take you away from your goal and ultimately your own happiness, or you can make a choice that will help you get to your goal. I chose the second.
It is never cut and dry. I think some people can benefit greatly from cheat meals or refeeds. I can when I’m not on prep. However, I have an addictive personality so its all or nothing for me right now. I am glad that I am aware of that and can now continue to move forward and give it my all until show day J