Tag Archives: bodybuilding

Goals and Aspirations for After Prep

Hey there all! I hope everyone had a great week. I gotta say that I did. I just felt a good balance and serenity that I don’t feel all the time and I’m diggin it! I decided to take a few minutes and go over my goals and aspirations for after my competition because I think it is important to always have a solid plan. That’s just how I roll.

First and foremost, I plan on reverse dieting and slowly increasing my calories and decreasing my cardio as I continue to put on size. I refuse to let myself completely rebound after working my ass off. I would like to still seem relatively lean in this off season. I am excited to eat more and rest my body more and get healthy again so I am in the best position possible for the next prep.

The original plan was to hit a few stages, but I am listening to my body and it definitely doesn’t want that for me right now. I am also going to finally be responsible and think of my health and make a bunch of doctor appointments that I have been putting off for far too long.

I also plan on getting back to consistently working on my NASM corrective exercise certification and applying what I am learning with myself and my clients. I am almost finished but I have to study for the final exam, which I heard is pretty difficult. I am looking forward to focusing more on work and seeing what else is out there in terms of training. Some exciting things are in the works right now actually. My friend Lori and I are working on building a company that specializes in in-home personal training, so that’s really exciting and I’m looking forward to seeing how it grows.

A big one for me is that I also want to travel more and gain more lovely experiences to look back on. Life is too short and I feel like I haven’t done much because I was never in the position to. Not that I’m loaded or anything, but I have some money saved and I have a more flexible schedule now than I will probably have again for a very long time after the next year or so.

Somewhere in between all those other goals, my priority is to save money at the same time and work on moving out of my house and living on my own. I’m not sure when that will be. My goal for myself is sometime next year or the following year at the absolute latest. I would like to live in Florida, so that is something I have been seriously considering.

So, that’s where I am currently at. This experience has definitely made me look at life differently, but I will save that for another post! Hope everyone has an awesome weekend! Thanks for following.


Getting Through Struggles..Going Forward

I want to take some time and talk about something that I found myself really struggling with the past 2 weeks of prep. This is something that I haven’t had a problem with in a long time and I am still pretty baffled about what brought it on, and that problem is binging. It started as a cheat meal, then turned into a reefed, then turned into an all out binge. This happened several times.

I’m sure it is completely normal to feel hungry and depleted during contest prep, but this was something different. I feel so many different emotions about it- a lot of guilt, shame, and negative feelings that I never want to feel. It’s hard for me to even talk about it because I am a perfectionist and like to believe that I have more control than I do in every situation.

I kept trying to undo the damage I had done by trying to do crazy amounts of cardio and lifts, but this did not work. I felt completely fatigued, like a hamster on a wheel. I knew this wasn’t going to work, so I did some research.

I came across a nice reminder. That reminder was that I should avoid having that restricted mentality. I have a goal and it is an aggressive one. HOWEVER, I can eat whatever I want, if I wanted. If I do that, I won’t be stepping on stage in April if I decided to keep going down that road.

So, the key is to not think that you can’t have something. You CAN, have it. You can also make a choice NOT to have it, because it isn’t conducive to your success and your goals and because it just most likely isn’t good for your body. This is so simple, but it was just what I needed to get myself back on track and serious. Remembering you have a choice is simple, but so helpful. You can make a choice that will take you away from your goal and ultimately your own happiness, or you can make a choice that will help you get to your goal. I chose the second.

It is never cut and dry. I think some people can benefit greatly from cheat meals or refeeds. I can when I’m not on prep. However, I have an addictive personality so its all or nothing for me right now. I am glad that I am aware of that and can now continue to move forward and give it my all until show day J

11 weeks out from the mental aspect

Happy Friday everyone! I hope everyone had an epic week. I posted yesterday about physique progress and the physical part of where I am at right now in my contest prep. Today I wanted to focus on what else is going on, including the mental and emotional parts.

It comes as no surprise that a lot of people struggle with some kind of method of covering up their anxieties or other emotional discomfort in some way. Food is a really common way to do this. Food takes our mind off a lot of things that we might not feel like dealing with in the moment. I know I was guilty of this. However, not being able to turn to food has forced me to deal with some things that I had been masking.

I am really fortunate that I have met a few really cool people in the last few months that share my passion for fitness and this lifestyle. For the first time in my life I feel like I have some positive people in my life and I actually feel worthy of good things. I have felt so good and happy, which has caused me to take a look and finally do something about a situation that was bringing me down and putting me into a continuous cycle of being in a funk. Sometimes we have these comfortable behaviors that we know aren’t good for our emotional and mental health, but we get stuck in them because they may remind us of what we were used to in the past. Unfortunately, though we know we deserve so much more than what we put up with, it can still be really hard to let go and move on from them.

So I’m going to cut to the chase now and get right to it. There was a guy that I met last year that I fell really hard and fast for because for the first time in my life I thought I found someone who had everything that I wanted. We had similar interests and got along really well and made each other laugh. I found out shortly after that we just weren’t on the same page and I could have stopped there and walked away, but I wasn’t confident enough to do it at that time. I was scared that I might not find someone I liked again. It felt like the small amount of time we spent together made it worth all the pain and suffering that I would go through after reality set back in. I valued him as a friend, but I wasn’t and still am not even sure that he even viewed me the same way. Anyways, to make a long story short, I decided to take a huge step for me and finally walk away from that situation. It might not seem like much to most people, but it was very freeing for me to make a decision purely putting myself first and doing what was best for me in the long run. I feel that it was blocking a lot of good things from coming my way in life, and I feel like I can finally breathe. Sure, I am going to miss this person a lot, but nothing is worth feeling like you don’t deserve what you want or that you just aren’t good enough as you are.

Rant over. If you read that, thanks. I hope everyone has an awesome weekend and does things that make them happy. 🙂 Life is meant to be enjoyed!

Checking your motives, reassessing your current state

Hi there! I wanted to post about something that I am currently experiencing that has been the biggest obstacle I have encountered on this journey so far. I am a super focused person and this prep so far has revealed that to me and made it more apparent than it has ever been. However, I have noticed myself becoming more and more isolated and to be honest, not a pleasant person to be around.

I think dedication is an amazing thing, and I value that so much. What I don’t value though is that I have been pretty terrible to the people close to me, mostly my Mom and family. I have had no filter and no serenity the past few weeks and it is taking a toll on me. I feel that this is due to my body adjusting and my hormones not knowing what to do. I have felt sick for about a week now with vertigo, nausea and headaches. My sleep was suffering as well and this probably has a lot to do with it also.

It can be a combination of things, but that is not the point of this post. Yesterday morning I  took it out on my family again, and each time it happens, I am less ok with it. I am the kind of person who likes to live in the solution and keep things moving. I don’t like to repeat my mistakes over and over again only to keep doing that same behavior if it hurts the people closest to me.

I questioned if doing the show was really worth it if I couldn’t control my actions or emotions, but I decided to follow through regardless. I realized that there is more than one way to do things, and if one way isn’t working I can go another route to get to my goal. This means I might have to go more outside my comfort zone and reach out for help, even though I like to be a hero and do everything myself.

To wrap up this rant, it is perfectly ok to question your motives and make sure your goal is worth the sacrifice. My main reason for doing this is to become a better version of myself. I want to grow, not live in the negative behaviors I were expressing. I realize I have a lot of work to do on myself. This isn’t bad. Everyone has room to improve.

Have a great weekend 🙂

Trying to expand my horizons.. on social media

Good morning everyone! Happy Monday! I’m feeling pretty damn good about this being the first full week of 2016. I was never really one to come up with New Year’s resolutions, because I try my best to live with integrity every single day and always have a few goals that I’m working toward. Timing will NEVER perfect in anyones lives, so I’m a firm believer in just going for what you want and what is going to grow you and get you closer to who/what you want to be.

I’ve found that sharing my journey with other people makes me feel better and hope that it inspires people as well. I decided to try and grow my social media platforms to reach more people and connect with more people who have similar goals for themselves, not only through fitness but to just do better in life in general. I wanted to post about this because it helps with accountability to tell other people about it. OK, so the point of this post is that I have decided to start a youtube channel. I’ve had one to watch other people’s videos, but I have never posted anything of my own. I have no idea how to really use it, but we all have to start somewhere and that is what I’m going to do. I will post it when it’s up in case anyone is interested.

Have a lovely week friends.

Seeking balance while on prep…

I’m enjoying this structure and challenge that each day being on prep brings. There are so many challenges that I am trying my best to adjust to not only physical, but mental challenges as well. I’m normally a pretty disciplined person, so the strict diet isn’t terrible for me. However, I do notice my thought patterns more apparently, and can see the way I think about food more clearly. There are times that I want to eat because of discomfort I’m feeling, but I question myself. I also find myself a lot more irritable toward other people and their negative habits, which is the main thing that I am trying to work on. I’m trying to channel all of that toward just doing better for myself each day and as motivation to keep pushing myself harder, because I don’t want to be average.

The average person may have a goal, and talk themselves out of it the next day. People can be so passionate about something and then not care the next minute. It seems that people do not understand what a commitment is nowadays. It means going forward no matter how you are feeling or what is going on around you. You can always find a way to make something happen if you truly care about it. It is perfectly okay to question yourself, but it isn’t okay to give up, unless you realize that the goal is something that would cause more harm in your life than good. If your goal is driven by your ego and has no real meaning to you, then by all means, reevaluate. Anyways, this is just my opinion, and a lot of people may disagree with me but that’s how I feel.

I’ve been experiencing some ups and downs, but I have been trying to have a better attitude and use this structure that I have in my life as a platform in other areas of my life as well. I like being organized, and each day I pick an area that I want to work on, and I focus on that. It can get lonely being so focused on something that not a lot of people around me understand, but for the first time in my life probably ever, I am pretty alright with myself and who I am as a person. I want things, but I don’t need things.

A lot of people might not want to do what I’m doing. A lot of women might not want to look like what I’m going to look like, and that’s fine. A few years ago I probably wouldn’t have went for it either, but you live and you grow! Life is all about making gains, not just in bodybuilding, but all areas! I went off on a bunch of tangents in this post, but I hope everyone has a great and safe New Year’s Eve and an awesome New Year ahead ❤

Why I decided to compete?

I was having an interesting week last week and I was questioning my intentions for being so motivated toward this goal. I wanted to make sure my motivations were coming from a good place, and I put some thought into it and this is what I came up with:

-I’m looking for something within myself. I want to know what I’m capable of and uncover strength I didn’t know I had.

-I want to be more of a part of a lifestyle that I already love so much and want to learn as much as I can.

-I want to inspire myself and others and show that people can follow through with their goals no matter what is happening around them. Too many people talk themselves out of their goals.

-I want my body to reflect the lifestyle that I live

-I want to be around similar minded people that want similar things for themselves

-I want to focus all of my energy on bettering myself