Tag Archives: figure competitor

Getting Through Struggles..Going Forward

I want to take some time and talk about something that I found myself really struggling with the past 2 weeks of prep. This is something that I haven’t had a problem with in a long time and I am still pretty baffled about what brought it on, and that problem is binging. It started as a cheat meal, then turned into a reefed, then turned into an all out binge. This happened several times.

I’m sure it is completely normal to feel hungry and depleted during contest prep, but this was something different. I feel so many different emotions about it- a lot of guilt, shame, and negative feelings that I never want to feel. It’s hard for me to even talk about it because I am a perfectionist and like to believe that I have more control than I do in every situation.

I kept trying to undo the damage I had done by trying to do crazy amounts of cardio and lifts, but this did not work. I felt completely fatigued, like a hamster on a wheel. I knew this wasn’t going to work, so I did some research.

I came across a nice reminder. That reminder was that I should avoid having that restricted mentality. I have a goal and it is an aggressive one. HOWEVER, I can eat whatever I want, if I wanted. If I do that, I won’t be stepping on stage in April if I decided to keep going down that road.

So, the key is to not think that you can’t have something. You CAN, have it. You can also make a choice NOT to have it, because it isn’t conducive to your success and your goals and because it just most likely isn’t good for your body. This is so simple, but it was just what I needed to get myself back on track and serious. Remembering you have a choice is simple, but so helpful. You can make a choice that will take you away from your goal and ultimately your own happiness, or you can make a choice that will help you get to your goal. I chose the second.

It is never cut and dry. I think some people can benefit greatly from cheat meals or refeeds. I can when I’m not on prep. However, I have an addictive personality so its all or nothing for me right now. I am glad that I am aware of that and can now continue to move forward and give it my all until show day J

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11 week out.. update on physical state

Good morning 🙂 I Hope everyone is having a lovely week. I just wanted to post about what is going on at this time during my prep because I haven’t posted in a little bit. To be honest, I wasn’t feeling well for those weeks and found it nearly impossible to get anything extra done in my life. I missed several weeks of going to the chiro, which isn’t good for me with my neck issues. I ended up passing out at the gym one day last week, probably due to something with my pinched nerve (no bueno). I’m happy to say that as of the past few days, I am feeling much better and healthier.

So, I have 11 weeks left until my show on April 9th, and it has definitely got a lot more challenging for me to stay focused. I had almost no fats in my diet and it was taking a toll on my body. I didn’t feel as if things were functioning properly and I was in a bit of a funk. I also struggled with going overboard on my cheats, which only made things worse. I sort of took my diet into my own hands and very slowly added certain healthy fats in place a some of my macros that had been coming from carbs. I still followed my plan, but used my knowledge of nutrition (NASM FNS FTW!!!)

I am learning a a lot about my body and what is best for me. There are so many different approaches to bodybuilding, and not all of them work for everybody. Some people do better on higher carbs while some function better on a higher fat diet. I think I am the latter. So, now I am at a point in prep where I am carb cycling. Right now this means that I have several days a week which I take in almost zero carbs, except for very low carbs from my veggies and nuts that I am eating (which are almost nothing). I am doing well with this so far.

I also experienced a lot of mental/emotional stuff that I will post about in a separate blog, because that will make this much too long and I don’t want to ramble. I’m going to post pictures of my physique progress in another post following, so y’all can see what work was done so far during prep.

Have an awesome day! ❤ xoxox

 

 

Seeking balance while on prep…

I’m enjoying this structure and challenge that each day being on prep brings. There are so many challenges that I am trying my best to adjust to not only physical, but mental challenges as well. I’m normally a pretty disciplined person, so the strict diet isn’t terrible for me. However, I do notice my thought patterns more apparently, and can see the way I think about food more clearly. There are times that I want to eat because of discomfort I’m feeling, but I question myself. I also find myself a lot more irritable toward other people and their negative habits, which is the main thing that I am trying to work on. I’m trying to channel all of that toward just doing better for myself each day and as motivation to keep pushing myself harder, because I don’t want to be average.

The average person may have a goal, and talk themselves out of it the next day. People can be so passionate about something and then not care the next minute. It seems that people do not understand what a commitment is nowadays. It means going forward no matter how you are feeling or what is going on around you. You can always find a way to make something happen if you truly care about it. It is perfectly okay to question yourself, but it isn’t okay to give up, unless you realize that the goal is something that would cause more harm in your life than good. If your goal is driven by your ego and has no real meaning to you, then by all means, reevaluate. Anyways, this is just my opinion, and a lot of people may disagree with me but that’s how I feel.

I’ve been experiencing some ups and downs, but I have been trying to have a better attitude and use this structure that I have in my life as a platform in other areas of my life as well. I like being organized, and each day I pick an area that I want to work on, and I focus on that. It can get lonely being so focused on something that not a lot of people around me understand, but for the first time in my life probably ever, I am pretty alright with myself and who I am as a person. I want things, but I don’t need things.

A lot of people might not want to do what I’m doing. A lot of women might not want to look like what I’m going to look like, and that’s fine. A few years ago I probably wouldn’t have went for it either, but you live and you grow! Life is all about making gains, not just in bodybuilding, but all areas! I went off on a bunch of tangents in this post, but I hope everyone has a great and safe New Year’s Eve and an awesome New Year ahead ❤