Tag Archives: journey

Living in the Solution: New Goals/Perspectives

Hey friends! I wanted to elaborate on what it felt like for me to hit rock bottom, emotionally. I also wanted to talk about what I’m doing about it/how I’m currently coping and all that good stuff.

As much as I wish it weren’t true, I’ve always been someone who cares a lot about what people think. In the past I have let this keep me stuck in fear, but today I refuse to let that stop me from moving forward in my life. I know that I don’t have to stay stuck, so that gives me hope. Sometimes you need to create your own hope when you can’t seem to find it. There is always something to be grateful for. For the first time in my life, I like who I am, even though sometimes I struggle a lot.

I decided to set up a bunch of doctor appointments throughout the next few weeks to see what is going on in regards to my physical health. I doubt much has changed for the better because until a few days ago, I was struggling with consistency in my diet. It was the hardest thing to get through the past few days, but it felt amazing when I did. I have been taking things as slow as I need to, and incorporating healthy habits into my life while trying to be present and mindful of my feelings and thoughts. I set up an appointment with a psychologist to help me stay accountable and honest.

I have to keep focused and remember that my goals are going to be very different than they were before, and that my lifestyle is going to be different until I find some kind of balance that works with my fitness goals. I am used to being super structured as far as training and nutrition goes, but that is not conducive to my mental state right now. I’m not saying that I am going to stop working out or eating as clean as I can handle, but I’m not going to make myself crazy over it. Control is something that I lack right now, so attempting to control things is going to make things worse.

I am grateful through my hardships because they allow me to empathize more with others. They make me a better, less judgmental person. I gain perspectives that I would never have the opportunity to experience if they had never occurred. The best part of it all is that I might be able to help someone else through my experience.

Looking at what I can gain really brightens things up in this situation and gives me hope. It gets me excited to get better. I’ve never felt so scared, but optimistic at the same time.


Checking your motives, reassessing your current state

Hi there! I wanted to post about something that I am currently experiencing that has been the biggest obstacle I have encountered on this journey so far. I am a super focused person and this prep so far has revealed that to me and made it more apparent than it has ever been. However, I have noticed myself becoming more and more isolated and to be honest, not a pleasant person to be around.

I think dedication is an amazing thing, and I value that so much. What I don’t value though is that I have been pretty terrible to the people close to me, mostly my Mom and family. I have had no filter and no serenity the past few weeks and it is taking a toll on me. I feel that this is due to my body adjusting and my hormones not knowing what to do. I have felt sick for about a week now with vertigo, nausea and headaches. My sleep was suffering as well and this probably has a lot to do with it also.

It can be a combination of things, but that is not the point of this post. Yesterday morning I  took it out on my family again, and each time it happens, I am less ok with it. I am the kind of person who likes to live in the solution and keep things moving. I don’t like to repeat my mistakes over and over again only to keep doing that same behavior if it hurts the people closest to me.

I questioned if doing the show was really worth it if I couldn’t control my actions or emotions, but I decided to follow through regardless. I realized that there is more than one way to do things, and if one way isn’t working I can go another route to get to my goal. This means I might have to go more outside my comfort zone and reach out for help, even though I like to be a hero and do everything myself.

To wrap up this rant, it is perfectly ok to question your motives and make sure your goal is worth the sacrifice. My main reason for doing this is to become a better version of myself. I want to grow, not live in the negative behaviors I were expressing. I realize I have a lot of work to do on myself. This isn’t bad. Everyone has room to improve.

Have a great weekend 🙂

Update on my life :) Following Through!

The goal was to start doing this a lot sooner, but my life has been pretty crazy the past few months. I had a few things come up with family and other things that were top priority in my life. All is well now, and I have been working toward a really important goal of mine. This has been a really amazing year in a lot of ways. Above everything else, I stuck to what I said I was going to do. I lived with integrity and I followed through on several different goals that I didn’t think I was capable of even a year ago.

I achieved a lot of things that ended up proving myself wrong regarding my limitations. I got certified in fitness nutrition and I am in the process of studying for my corrective exercise specialization certification. I also finally took kickboxing lessons like I had been wanting to. I doubt I will ever do much with that skill, but the point is that I followed through with it!

NOW, the fun part. I am also in the process of training for my first NPC Figure competition on April 9th, 2016. This is a goal that I talked myself out of for a little while, but I decided to go for it, and it is the best decision I have ever made for myself. I am loving the shit out of the process and I am so excited about what is to come. Every day is a challenge, but I am learning A LOT about myself and about life. I am definitely going to post more about things that I am learning and experiencing.

New and Exciting


Hi! So, it has been a little while since I’ve posted. I was hardcore focusing on classes, and as of yesterday I am an AAPTE certified personal trainer! I’m super excited to continue my journey and help people achieve their goals and motivate them to be their best. I learned a lot in my classes and I realized that a lot of what I previously believed about fitness was incorrect. It was humbling and I feel a lot more educated and I have been really working on applying everything that I learned into my fitness routine. I have been seeing results from focusing on my form and training my muscles as opposed to just lifting as heavy as I can. I think that the most important thing that I learned is that you need to consider how the body works from a biomechanical perspective when working out. This means that there may be certain workouts that the body isn’t really meant to perform and cannot perform without injury at some point down the road. I think that it is very important to get the form right and build a firm foundation so that exercise will be able to be as beneficial to the body as possible. I don’t like that I had to decrease my weight on a lot of workouts, but I can honestly say that I feel it a lot more. I never put as much thought into working out as I have since learning the principles AAPTE has taught me and I am pleased with how I am progressing.

Changes, Changes


Happy Monday! I have been struggling with accepting my body throughout the past few days. This has been happening quite a lot lately. I’ve been having some ups and downs with this. Instead of having a pity party and giving up like I have in the past, I’m taking in new information and I’m applying it. Instead of getting discouraged and overwhelmed, I make a list of things that I would like to work on applying. I learned that I needed to change it up and add a wider variety of exercises to my training routine. I also realized that I may have been overdoing my cardio, which was music to my ears because cardio is not one of my favorite things. I was putting too much time into what I thought was helping me lose fat, but was probably taking away some of my lean muscle that I was working hard at building. I also wasn’t challenging myself enough during cardio and decided to incorporate more intense interval training into my routine. I heard that it was beneficial for women to do around a half hour of intense interval cardio if they are into weight training. I actually decided to commit to Shaun T’s T-25 program. I have always done some of the workouts here and there, but I feel that I am capable of following the program. Shaun T is no joke. I always get a great workout and he encourages you to consistently challenge yourself. I am on the third day and I will give weekly updates.

I am also reading about Food Combining. I am definitely going to attempt to try this. Basically, food combining says that proteins don’t mix well with starches during digestion. Proteins and starches are digested differently, and ingesting both at the same meal slows down digestion and can cause food to linger in the digestive system and result in gas and toxins. This leads to incomplete digestion and poor nutrient absorption. I think that this is a pretty sweet theory. So many people are very health conscious, like myself, yet don’t consider how food is digested by the body. It is easy to ignore that aspect because we are focusing so much on the outside. It is said that food combining can help improve digestion and absorption of nutrients, increased energy levels and balance body weight. I’m going to give updates as I learn more and have worked on applying this.

Happy Memorial day!


Why Did You Start?


I noticed this morning that whenever I start to get tired, discouraged and less motivated, I need to check my intentions and my motives for why I do what I do. It is so easy for me to get so focused on the results and I miss the important part, the journey. I need to constantly remind myself and drill it in my head. Being humble is so important in this process. I’m glad that I was able to center myself and get myself back on track before I fell off and gave up. I refuse to give up again. If other people struggle with obsessing over the results to the point where they get discouraged with where they are, I definitely recommend writing about why they started their fitness/nutrition journey. I did this while I had a few extra minutes before work, and it was just what I needed.

* Why I started: I started because I wanted to conquer and overcome limits that I set for myself along the way in my life. The mind can be a scary place. I held myself back for so long. As a result, I wasn’t able to live life to the fullest. I never want to feel limited, helpless, or trapped again. I want to help other people who have struggled with this. I’ve come to realize how amazing it feels to start to overcome these limits and I want other people to experience this freedom as well. Doing this in my fitness routine helped me in so many areas of my life. I refuse to give that up.