Hey friends! I wanted to elaborate on what it felt like for me to hit rock bottom, emotionally. I also wanted to talk about what I’m doing about it/how I’m currently coping and all that good stuff.
As much as I wish it weren’t true, I’ve always been someone who cares a lot about what people think. In the past I have let this keep me stuck in fear, but today I refuse to let that stop me from moving forward in my life. I know that I don’t have to stay stuck, so that gives me hope. Sometimes you need to create your own hope when you can’t seem to find it. There is always something to be grateful for. For the first time in my life, I like who I am, even though sometimes I struggle a lot.
I decided to set up a bunch of doctor appointments throughout the next few weeks to see what is going on in regards to my physical health. I doubt much has changed for the better because until a few days ago, I was struggling with consistency in my diet. It was the hardest thing to get through the past few days, but it felt amazing when I did. I have been taking things as slow as I need to, and incorporating healthy habits into my life while trying to be present and mindful of my feelings and thoughts. I set up an appointment with a psychologist to help me stay accountable and honest.
I have to keep focused and remember that my goals are going to be very different than they were before, and that my lifestyle is going to be different until I find some kind of balance that works with my fitness goals. I am used to being super structured as far as training and nutrition goes, but that is not conducive to my mental state right now. I’m not saying that I am going to stop working out or eating as clean as I can handle, but I’m not going to make myself crazy over it. Control is something that I lack right now, so attempting to control things is going to make things worse.
I am grateful through my hardships because they allow me to empathize more with others. They make me a better, less judgmental person. I gain perspectives that I would never have the opportunity to experience if they had never occurred. The best part of it all is that I might be able to help someone else through my experience.
Looking at what I can gain really brightens things up in this situation and gives me hope. It gets me excited to get better. I’ve never felt so scared, but optimistic at the same time.